As a mum of not just one spirit child but infact 5, life has been emotionally challenging to say the least. Loss brings up such a wide range of emotions and in particular the loss of a child no matter how old they are for any parent is inconceivable. The hole and void that is left is almost unbearable. For many women and even dads life is never the same, each day is a battle to even get up and survive. The guilt, torment and emptiness can cause many to feel suicidal. Children for many, is there purpose in life. When thats taken away whats left? A nothingness that is eternal.
With many stages to grief it can take quite a portion of a persons life before life becomes livable. I know only to well the harsh road of grieving a child. The sadness, the sleepless nights, the nightmares, the panic attacks and the self loathing that haunts your soul.
I thank myself lucky though, for through all my pain, I had hope and a knowing that my son Ben who was the only one of the 5 who made it into a physical body was guiding me through it.
The soul of a child is so fresh, new and young that it is very easy to feel, see or sense their presence. Ben made his presence known almost with great fierce, to ensure I heard that heaven had no place for me, in my dark days and even darker nights.
Spirit children I believe come to learn and to teach us. A lesson I soon began to realise quite quickly after is tragic unexpected passing in 2003. My life needed kickin in to touch ...
